International Asexuality Day 🖤🤍💜

Hey everyone,

Today is International Asexuality Day, and I thought it would be a great time to chat about asexuality and debunk some common misconceptions. So, let’s dive right in!

Asexuality is a sexual orientation where a person doesn’t experience sexual attraction to others. It’s important to note that sexual attraction is different from romantic attraction—so an asexual person can still feel romantically attracted to others and form deep emotional bonds, just without the sexual aspect.

Within the asexual community, there’s a range of experiences when it comes to comfort with sexual activities. Some asexual people are sex-repulsed, meaning they have a strong aversion to sex, while others might be neutral or even enjoy it in certain contexts.

Despite being a valid sexual orientation, asexuality often faces social stigmas and misunderstandings. Asexual individuals may be accused of being “broken” or “in need of fixing,” which can be incredibly hurtful. Furthermore, some asexual people report feeling excluded from LGBTQ+ communities due to infighting and the belief that they don’t face the same levels of discrimination.

It’s also crucial to differentiate asexuality from the “incel” label. While asexual people don’t experience sexual attraction and may choose not to engage in sexual activities, incels (short for “involuntary celibates”) refer to individuals who desire sexual relationships but are unable to form them, often accompanied by feelings of frustration or resentment. Incels are sometimes associated with negative aspects like misogyny and an entitlement to sex, which perpetuate harmful attitudes and beliefs about relationships. These aspects of incel culture do not apply to asexual individuals, who have a different orientation altogether. It’s essential not to conflate the two, as doing so can lead to misunderstandings and perpetuate harmful stereotypes about asexuals.

Now, let’s address some common misconceptions:

1. Asexuality is just a phase. Asexuality is a valid sexual orientation, just like being gay, bisexual, or straight. It’s not a phase, and asexual people shouldn’t be pressured to change or “grow out of it.”
2. Asexual people can’t have fulfilling relationships. Asexual individuals can form deep, meaningful relationships based on emotional and romantic attraction, even if they don’t experience sexual attraction.
3. Asexuality is the result of trauma or a medical condition. While some asexual people may have experienced trauma or have medical conditions, it’s important to recognize that asexuality is a natural variation of human sexuality, and it’s not caused by these factors.

Lastly, let’s tackle some common questions:

1. How can I support my asexual friends and family members? Listen to their experiences, validate their feelings, and be understanding if they choose not to engage in sexual activities or relationships. Educate yourself about asexuality and work to debunk misconceptions when you encounter them.
2. Can asexual people still engage in romantic relationships? Yes, asexual people can and do form romantic relationships, though the level of sexual activity involved may vary based on individual preferences and comfort levels.
3. What if my partner comes out as asexual? It’s essential to approach the situation with understanding, empathy, and open communication. Remember that your partner’s identity is valid, and supporting them in their journey is crucial. It’s natural for both partners to have concerns about how this revelation may affect your relationship dynamics, especially when it comes to intimacy. One potential solution for couples facing this situation is exploring polyamory, which is the practice of engaging in multiple consensual and loving relationships simultaneously. In a polyamorous arrangement, different partners can fulfill different emotional, romantic, and sexual needs, which can be particularly helpful when one partner identifies as asexual. This approach may not be suitable for everyone, but it can offer a flexible and understanding framework that allows both partners to have their needs met while maintaining a loving and supportive connection.It’s important to have open and honest conversations about your feelings, boundaries, and expectations as you navigate this new aspect of your relationship. Whether you choose polyamory or another solution, the key is to work together to find a path that honors and respects both partners’ identities and needs.

By talking about asexuality openly and respectfully, we can help dispel myths and support our asexual friends and loved ones. Let’s keep the conversation going and work together to make the world a more understanding place for everyone.

Take care and stay awesome