Greetings everyone!
Last week was Polyamory Awareness Week, and I wanted to take a moment to shed some light on the concept of polyamory.
Polyamory is the practice of having multiple loving relationships simultaneously, with the full knowledge and consent of all parties involved. It emphasizes open communication, honesty, and ethical considerations in managing multiple relationships. It can involve sexual relationships with multiple partners, but it can also involve non-sexual relationships. It is up to each individual and their partners to determine what works best for them.
It does not mean that one partner is not enough. For some individuals, polyamory is a way to form multiple meaningful relationships and to have their love and affection spread among multiple partners. For others, it may be a way to form a larger community of love and support. Each partner can fill a different niche of one person’s needs.
Contrary to popular belief that polyamorous relationships are casual and temporary, they can be just as strong and long-lasting as monogamous relationships, as long as all parties involved are committed to open communication and ethical considerations.
For many, polyamory is not a lifestyle choice, but rather an inherent aspect of their identity. Just as some people identify as bisexual or trans, others identify as polyamorous. For these individuals, the idea of being in a monogamous relationship is not appealing or fulfilling. Being polyamorous is a part of who they are and how they form relationships.
Polyamory can be practiced in a safe and healthy manner when all parties involved engage in open communication, honesty, and ethical considerations. It is important to establish clear boundaries and agreements between all partners, and to prioritize the well-being and happiness of everyone involved.
Polyamory is not the same as polygamy, which refers to having multiple spouses and is often associated with patriarchal and hierarchical relationships. It is illegal in most countries, including Australia. Polyamory, on the other hand, values equality and agency for all partners involved.
It’s also important to differentiate polyamory from cheating. Cheating refers to having relationships outside of a committed relationship without the knowledge or consent of your partner. This goes against the principles of polyamory and ethical non-monogamy. Cheating involves deceit and a lack of transparency, whereas polyamory is based on open and honest communication among all partners.
Polyamory is often confused with swinging or open relationships, but there are some key differences between these.
Swinging refers to couples engaging in sexual activity with other couples or individuals, typically in a recreational or social setting.
Open relationships typically involve one primary relationship, with the understanding that both partners are allowed to have sexual or romantic relationships outside of the primary relationship, with the knowledge and consent of their partner. The focus is often on sexual exploration and physical intimacy, rather than emotional intimacy.
Polyamory, on the other hand, emphasizes the development of multiple loving relationships, rather than just sexual encounters. It places a greater emphasis on emotional intimacy, communication, and ethical considerations. While polyamory can involve sexual relationships with multiple partners, it is not limited to just sexual relationships and can encompass a wide range of emotional and romantic connections. The focus is on forming and maintaining multiple meaningful relationships, rather than just engaging in sexual encounters.
While polyamory is gaining more recognition and acceptance, in Australia polyamory is not a legally recognized relationship structure, and individuals who engage in polyamorous relationships do not have the same protections and rights as those in monogamous relationships. This can make it difficult for polyamorous individuals to access government benefits, insurance benefits (health insurance, life insurance, or other benefits that are typically tied to marital status or family structure), inheritance, to make medical decisions for their partners, or have a say in property or custody disputes. They may face discrimination in the workplace, especially if their relationship structure is not understood or accepted by their colleagues or employers, without any recourse because polyamory is not considered a protected category in Australia. Polyamorous families may face challenges in finding adequate support services, such as counseling, legal assistance, or support groups, as these services may not be prepared to their specific needs.
When coming to Australia, I had to tick a box saying that I am in a relation with my partner “to the exclusion of all others“, in order to get my visa. Similarly, if I wanted the marriage with my spouse to be officially recognised in Australia, I would have to say “yes” to the same condition in front of a registered celebrant. This requirement assumes that all relationships are monogamous and does not allow for the possibility of ethical non-monogamy.
This type of language can be exclusionary and dismissive of individuals in polyamorous relationships, and can lead to difficulties in obtaining visas or other forms of documentation for themselves and their partners. It also reinforces the notion that polyamory is not a valid or acceptable form of relationship, which can contribute to discrimination and stigma.
Polyamory may not be suitable for everyone, as it requires a high level of emotional maturity, open-mindedness, and a willingness to communicate and establish clear boundaries. Additionally, same as some people are inherently polyamorous, others can be inherently monoamorous. It is important for individuals to consider their own needs and desires, as well as the well-being of their partners, before engaging in polyamorous relationships.
Jealousy can still be an issue in polyamorous relationships, just as it can in monogamous relationships. However, polyamory emphasizes that partners are not possessions, but rather individuals who choose to be in a relationship with one another. By acknowledging and respecting each other’s agency, partners can work together to manage their emotions and resolve any conflicts that may arise. Open communication, honesty, and the ability to form multiple meaningful relationships can also help to mitigate feelings of jealousy.
At the end of the day, all forms of love and relationships deserve to be respected and valued. Let’s continue to raise awareness and create a more inclusive and understanding society, where everyone can freely express their love and form meaningful relationships, regardless of their structure or form. By being open-minded and non-judgmental, we can create a world that is more accepting, loving, and kind.
Love knows no bounds, and we are all deserving of love and happiness in whatever form it takes.
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